Why is it these days, that when you have more than two children, so many people you don't know from Adam, feel entitled to make a comment such as 'Don't you have a t.v. at home?'!
I have four children. My oldest is ten, my youngest 17 months. My last three were born within 3 1/2 years of each other, so it is in regards to them that I get the most comments. Often, from elderly 'gentlemen', too! I mean, I really don't feel inclined to discuss my sex life with them, funnily enough! The fact is that until my late twenties, I was the butt of my family's jokes for rarely dating, and I doubt any of them thought that I would now have four kids! I met my husband when I was nearly 28, and had our first daughter, Maddison, 3 months before I turned 30. My father was very ill at that time, and I had wanted desperately for him to see me have a child, so Maddison, now aged ten, was very much planned. When she was 15 months, I fell pregnant again, but sadly, lost that baby, and my father consoled me by saying there would be others. But I new I had lost THAT baby. And that my father would never live long enough to see me have another child. He walked me down the aisle at my wedding the month Maddy turned 2, and passed away 10 weeks later, after a 6 1/2 year battle with cancer. I had started trying for another baby right after our wedding, but it just didn't happen. After a year of trying, with no success, I started to become concerned, so we started having tests. The doctors knew that I had gotten pregnant twice, of course, and couldn't figure out why it wouldn't happen this time. I had various procedures done, such as a laperoscopy, where some endometriosis was burnt off, and all of our health tests came back fine, otherwise, but it still didn't happen. After two years, we had several I.V.F. consults, and were put down as having 'unexplained infertility'. I began to worry that the currette that I had after the miscarriage, had damaged me in some way. We were about to start I.V.F. at the 3 1/2 year mark, when I fell pregnant naturally. I had my second daughter, Jorgia, at the age of 35. When Jorgia was 8 months old, and despite the pill, I fell pregnant again. Sadly, I again suffered a miscarriage. This one was even harder, as I had seen the little fluttering heartbeat on screen already, and the miscarriage was actually long-drawn out, as I bled for about a week before I lost the baby. Three weeks later, I was at the doctors, complaining of still feeling pregnant. She gently explained that it would just be residual hormones, but agreed to do a blood test anyway. It turned out I had a very new pregnancy, and my third daughter, Isabella, was born in 2008. Another 'surprise baby'(I was on the mini pill, and breast-feeding!), followed in 2009, just before I turned 39. I hadn't planned on having a fourth, and my husband got the call up for 'the little operation' the day after I found out I was pregnant, but Samuel was meant to be. My only son, he was a wonderful surprise! So now, at the age of forty, I am the proud mother of four beautiful children. I won't get into how hard the births were, although they were hard. Most births are! I had the first two with the help of forceps, an emergency Cesarean with my third, who was very big and stuck, and a planned Cesarean with my fourth. I had hemorrhaged and needed a transfusion after the emergency Caesar, after 25 hours of labour, and didn't want to face the same circumstances again. The fact is, having children is not an easy thing, and caring for them once they are here, isn't easy either. I suffered post-natal depression and needed counseling after my second child, and I have battled depression, along with struggling to be a 'good' mother. And it is very difficult to explain all this to someone who gestures towards your four energetic children, while you are puffing your way around a supermarket with a full trolley, and makes that crack about t.v.! No, I don't get the chance to watch a lot of t.v., but that's because I am looking after four kids! After my experiences, and I know a lot of people who have had similar, I would never make silly comments or assumptions about people, and I have such a lot of respect for Mothers, especially the stay at home ones! It truly is the hardest job in the world, but also, truly the most rewarding. I look at each one of my gorgeous kids, and I wouldn't change them for anything in the world! For a long time, I didn't think I would have them, and I am so much richer for their being here! Please, If you are reading this, and you are one of those people making thoughtless remaks...Please stop and think next time- and just don't say anything at all, if you can't be encouraging. We are the mothers of the future leaders of this country, and I think I'm raising some pretty decent little people. It's corny, but true.
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